Bit Cemetery

Sometimes you got an idea for a stand-up bit that just doesn’t work on stage. Either the timing’s too long, the premise too obscure, or the shelf life’s too short. Please pay your respects to the satirical bits that were not long for this world, but nonetheless received a breath of life in an attempt to resuscitate some lost humor in essay format.

Like satirical essays will ever be a thing, right?

Hungry For Hippo
Chandler Phillips Chandler Phillips

Hungry For Hippo

Stimulate the economy, feed the public, create a new culinary niche, and responsibly manage invasive wildlife.

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Kentucky Fried Conspiracies
Chandler Phillips Chandler Phillips

Kentucky Fried Conspiracies

How am I supposed to trust that my chicken is authentically Kentucky Fried when it is clearly being sold by a Northeastern Carpetbagger in disguise?

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Danger From the Deep
Chandler Phillips Chandler Phillips

Danger From the Deep

Shark week has the sheeple fooled, here’s eight to ten-tacle more reasons to be afraid of the water.

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